Thursday, May 8, 2014

tamming the temper tantrum.

 { source + where to purchase = little nugget republic

I was asked to be a part of a parenting series called one year and beyond. When I was originally sent the list of questions...I began questioning my parenting skills and whether or not Sarah and Heather should have asked me to be a part of it.? Now that I have convinced you of my mad parenting skills here goes nothing...

Ok, first up...taming the temper tantrum.

Can I just say the temper tantrum is the gateway to all other behavior issues... the earlier you put a stop to it the better...

So a few tips that have worked for me with taming the tantrum:

Constancy is key. I don't wake up in the mornings and think..." which ways can I discipline my children today?" Discipline is not at the top of my list, but it is necessary and part of being a parent. Set up rules and boundaries and stick with me some days it would be easier to just give in so you don't have to deal with them throwing a fit...but don't do it...I promise you...put in the hard work in the in beginning and your kiddos will learn early on what is ok, and what is not ok, and will need less, and less reminders. My oldest two children are 7 and 5 and they pretty much only need a stern warning or occasionally the "look" and they know their parents mean business. This didn't happen over night, it happened with constancy. 

If you threaten it, follow through. Each age is different. I like to get down to eye level and look my children in the eyes and say to them..."If you ( fill in the blank ) again, (fill in the blank) will you understand?" For example, my Lyla girl doesn't get much freedom when we are out, hard to imagine I know, but if I do let her out of the stroller I let her know...if you run away, or don't hold my hand you will go back in the stroller...The second she decided to test the limits back in the stroller she goes. At her age it doesn't work over night, but that is when constancy comes in to play...eventually they do learn. At each threat depends on age.  Also, idle threats don't work peps, and those little kiddos know it, and they will walk all over you.

Listening. Sometimes your toddler is throwing a fit for a legitimate reason. A few months ago we were on a walk and Lyla started screaming...I thought it was because she wanted someone to hold her so I told her no and kept walking....she wouldn't let I asked her what was wrong...she started crying for her "nemo" which is her cup that apparently she dropped a few blocks back. So in that case she was unable to communicate and was throwing a fit for a very good reason.

Distract. Distraction is key for me. I know that my youngest is busy, and for her if we are in public stroller is with that said if I know we are going to be, for example at a swim meet, and she will see the pool and only want to get out and get in the water...I need to come prepared. I like books, play doh, stickers are popular, and candy...I am not above bribing distracting with candy.

I feel like I could write a whole novel on this subject, but I will spare you more...
What are your tips for taming the tantrum?

Come link up with us every Thursday and share your wisdom. Also, come check out our mamas who have some wisdom of their own.// May 15:Weaning from Breastfeeding or From Formula to Cow’s Milk // May 22:Dealing with Mommy Guilt // May 29:When People Share Their Opinions and How to Lovingly Handle it// June 5: Traveling with your Toddler //June 12:How to get your toddler to eat their veggies…or their food at all //June 19:How to make time to blog in the busyness of motherhood // June 26Bedtime Battles (nap or bedtime)

Now it's time to link up your posts with us!


Ashley @ Words About Waverly said...

Newest follower from the link-up, I felt the same way about them asking me! ;) I totally agree with many of your tips, thanks for sharing!

Courtney B said...

Loooove your listening paragraph. Such a great reminder for me to do my best to take a look at the whole picture when Mia is losing her mind. She could be needing to tell me something and doesn't know how else to do it!
And your follow through... LOVE it! I forget how much Mia understands these days so I want to start teaching her the "if you do this then these are the consequences"!

KelseyB said...

Love this! I feel like we are on the same page with the tantrum drama!!

Leah said...

consistency is what i fail at. like you said some days it's just easier to give in, and sometimes i'm just sooooo tired. no excuse i know, but i know that this is what i need to buckle on! this was a great post cristina!