Wednesday, October 2, 2013

devotional wednesday.



Hmmmm. Where to start. If I had written this post about a week or so ago, it would have been about how heavy my heart felt for this daughter of mine, and how desperately she needed your prayers. It is no secret she struggles with school. Not in the forms learning or making friends...but in the form of being away from home. She generally misses her family. It is extra hard on the mornings when every other family member is stays behind, and she is the lone ranger being forced to serve time Monday through Friday 9 - 4. It is exceptionally difficult on Sunday nights, four days weekends, and holiday breaks.

It was increasingly painful last week when she was casually talking about her day, and used the words "sad" and "lonely" to describe how she felt. Lonely is a strong word for a 6 year old. Truth be told I went in the bathroom and cried afterwards. My mama's heart couldn't take it. I don't want to see her sad, or hurting. I want to fix it, and make her happy...as I am sure most mothers do. I want to hug her, go to school with her, bet yet tell her she never has to go to school.ever.again...you know, scoop in and save the day. The key word here being "I". Truth is I can't fix everything for her, and honestly I am not sure if that is the best philosophy to have though life. After throwing myself a pity party for a few days, I realized that while I couldn't be with her every waking moment...I could point her to the one who can...Jesus. Although she might not be able to always rely on me, she can always rely on God. 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6-8

I am going to look for the silver lining in this phase of her life. I have a peace knowing that I did the very best to raise her spirits, prayed with her and for her to have a happy heart, prayed for Godly friends to be evident in her life, and most importantly any time she struggles I let her know how very very much she is valued, treasured, and loved ... and point her to Jesus. Because really, that is what I am training her for eventually.

"My Motherly instinct is to hold on-to cling to my children as if they are mine to protect. And while I know that God's purpose for my children require independence, my mamas heart still needs some convincing." /// Erin MacPherson // The Christian Mothers Guide To The Grade School Years

7 comments:

Susan Liberatore said...

She is beyond sweet and this makes me so sad. It's the reason I had to stay home with Ava...especially for the early years until school starts.
Have you thought about home schooling? Seriously. You are just so good at everything, especially with the kids. You would be amazing.

Leah said...

oh christina, i love her heart in wanting to be home with her family. it will eventually get easier and of course your prayers for her will give her that courage. bless her little heart and yours momma!

Kelly said...

Hugs and prayers. i went through this with my youngest and it was so hard. just as you told e, God is always with her, he with you too, continue to let him guide your steps and it'll all work out. xxO

Bekah @Lemons & Snickers said...

Oh sweet friend. She is so blessed to have such a loving mama. You are doing what He has on your heart. I know you've talked about homeschooling and if that ever is a path your led to take, you'll know. And I'll be here for any advice I can give! But for now knowing that she can lean on Him and that she can come home and tell you about her day is a blessing for sure!

Jenni Price illustration said...

I've gone through this also. Kind of hard on you both I know. I'll say a prayer for both of you because I so understand this! Great message too :)

Kerry @ Made For Real said...

What a sweetie...I have a six yr old sweetie as well, different challenges with homeschooling, but my heart aches for her in growing up so FAST and wanting her to stay little always.
...and that hat your cutie is wearing!! I need to make one for my Sophia - it's so her :)

Trina said...

Oh, man, I can only imagine. For the first couple weeks of school, my girly loved when I'd draw a little picture on her lunch napkin. But she loves going away all day, so maybe it helped me more than it helped her. I imagine my little guy will have a lot more reluctance.

Hoping she adjusts soon!